If Girls Had A Bro Code, What Would It Say?

Disclaimer – Yes, this rule does exist for girls too. And the girls in my group follow it. And I am sure plenty of other women are out there as well who will agree with me. No offense is intended. If there’s any more that ladies would like me to add, please do let me know.

Here, are some bro codes for girls.

1. Never even dream about dating any of your friends’ exes. Even if he was from 4th grade and “just a fling”. Just don’t.
2. Friend on period, broke up with the boyfriend, or in an otherwise traumatic timeframe? Offer relentlessly to bring over chocolate brownies, fluffy blankets, and the latest gossip until she gives in.
3. If she asks what you think of her boyfriend/crush, say something along the lines of “he’s cute, but not my type. You two are a couple of goals though.”
4. Every girl has two (or one) best friend(s) whom she tells EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. And if you’re one of them, don’t even think about telling anyone this sacred information.
5. If you’re that girl who doesn’t make friends easily and is pretty socially awkward, try and hang out with a group of girls who seem nice enough. But if they are edging away from you and talking about how their team is already full, try somewhere else. Not everyone wants to be friends.
6. Likewise, if you see that socially awkward girl, be nice to her if you can. She might be going through a tough time.
7. Friend on period? Provide pads. Acquaintance on period? Provide pads. Worst arch-nemesis since 2nd grade when she stole your pink strawberry-scented gel pen and you yelled at her on period? Provide. Pads.
8. If a girl confides in you, regardless of how close/far you two are, be nice and don’t spill what she said to anyone. Trust is more important than the latest gossip.
9. If, whilst getting ready at your place (for a night out, a party) one of your friends sees your clothes and comments something like “Oh, I love that sweater” LEND IT TO HER. Unless she is of the lowest of the low, she will 101% wash it and give it back, with a promise to return the favor.
10. The same goes for makeup. And yes, we use each others’ lipsticks.
11. If a girl has period cramps, no matter how much you hate her, you take her to the school nurse, offer any food you have, sit with her, and otherwise comfort her in any way she needs.
12. Sharing a portion of food with some kind of sauce, such as nachos and dip? Don’t double-dip. Just don’t.
13. Family is off-limits. A best friend in a relationship with a brother, a cousin, etc. is a recipe for disaster.
14. If your best friend is in a relationship with an inappropriately older guy aggressively challenge him until you’re either sure he won’t hurt her or you’re sure he’ll hurt her (think abusive or something). Formerly, support the relationship fully and treat him as a brother. Latter, rip his throat out.
15. Don’t Touch Her Hair. It took half an hour to brush it out this morning and contains more electricity than a gaming computer.
16. Don’t Touch Her Outfit.
17. Between best friends, it is normal to get changed, etc. in the same room. It is normal to comment positively on each other’s bodies. It is normal to tickle, hug, have heads close together, etc. But if you’re anything less than a best friend? Creep.
18. If your friend is feeling insecure about, say, her acne, tell her that it’s barely noticeable and perfectly fine. Even if it looks like she has volcanoes growing out of her face.
19. If you aren’t invited to a friend/acquaintance’s party or celebration, you’re not invited. That doesn’t mean you can crash the party, aggressively despite the host, or spread rumors about her. Maybe her parents don’t know yours and are pretty strict about that sort of stuff.
20. Never comment on body odor, greasy hair, wrinkled shirt, etc.
21. You don’t say no when your best friend invites you to shop. It is never a choice. It is always yes.
22. You should always say no to everything she wants to buy to save her money.
23. Always compliment her new hairstyle and clothes.
24. You should have a reserved store of chocolates and ice cream to relieve her pain during her periods or when she is sad.
25. Never leave her alone during her time of the month.
26. You can call her a bitch. You should call her a bitch. It is accepted, only if you are besties.
27. If she forgets your birthday, you can go on a no-talk-strike until she buys you a book. (happened to me).
28. You should demand a party from her when her brother/sister gets a job or on their birthday.
29. You should always lift her call or call immediately if you miss the call.
30. You can avoid her calls if you two are fighting.
31. If she messages at midnight, it means SOS. Wake up and message back.
32. If you do not reply, be prepared for a round of curses the next day.
33. You should feed her mother’s number, and always be ready to get calls from an aunty who asks about her daughter.
34. And, you should always say, ‘She is sleeping’.
35. If she hates hostel food, you should agree too. It is an overall agreed rule.
36. If your mother sends food, you should always share it with her.
37. A new friend of hers is a new friend of yours.
38. You can ask her to choose between you and her new friend.
39. She can always hit you and not talk to you for asking that.
40. You should say sorry to her and in return demand a sorry from her for hitting you.
41. If she has a crush, he is the topic of discussion. Must and should.
42. If that crush of hers doesn’t like her back, even then he is the topic of discussion and subject to lots of curses.
43. Sis before dicks // sisters before misters
44. Her ex is your enemy.
45. If you want to go after her ex, take her permission first. Proceed only if it is a green signal.
46. Her boyfriend is your brother.
47. Her brother can be your boyfriend.
48. If you fall in love with her brother, tell her first and not her brother.
49. Listen patiently to all her relationship problems. She will ask you questions later, mind you.
50. If she comes crying over a fight with her boyfriend, never ask the reason, let her cry and if possible, give a bar of chocolate.
51. Ask the next day, and scold her boyfriend and tell how much of a jerk he is.
52. You are her pillow for days and weeks after her break-up.
53. Everyone who stares at her and eve-teases her is a big jerk.
54. Her fight is your fight too.
55. If she slaps a guy, you slap the other cheek of that same guy.
56. Her problem is your problem, no matter what.
57. If she is crying, you don’t cry. You should scold her and sometimes, hug her.
58. You have all the right to scold her, anytime.
59. You can also tell her she looks like shit! Be prepared to be hit with books though.
60. Never point out she has a pimple!
61. You should fight or argue at least once a week.
62. Tell her you hate her, when you fight, sometimes.
63. Tell her you love her, after you make up, always.
64. Never diss her favorite book or actor in front of her if you value your life.
65. Know when there is a new book release or movie release of her favorites.
66. You should endure the torture of hearing her talk about her favorite books or movies.
67. You get special rights to make her go through the same torture.
68. Her secrets are secrets for others but not you.
69. You must have a nickname for her!
70. You must have her back always, even if it is a crazy weird thing.
71. A lot of this is dependent on your relationship with her. At least where I am, my best friends are VERY close. Feel free to print out on pink-scented paper and distribute it to the females in your area.