It’s really hard to say about an unhealthy relationship because a healthy relationship is equal, with mutual trust and respect. Both people treat the other person well with the same respect. It doesn’t mean you don’t argue, but when you do, you don’t lose it and resort to calling each other names. As for asking someone else out first, well it’s up to you how you feel about that.
Listen to your friends and see what they have to say. Do they have a good reason for not approving? Ultimately it’s you who is with him. So, you make the call. Listen to your instincts. If you have more than one person telling you that the relationship is wrong or even just one person that you know isn’t someone who would mislead you and their telling that the relationship isn’t right, then I would probably look at what your friends are telling you like something to consider. Though the reality of it is based on how he treats you, whether or not he’s the right person for you isn’t up to everyone else, it’s up to you. the things that constitute a healthy relationship rely on us as people individually, such as honesty, generosity, dedication, or being respected these are things that determine whether or not a relationship is right.
So, here are the things you need to keep your focus on:
- Attacking your spouse rather than the problem. Ok, spoiler alert for your fairy tale. You’re going to have disagreements. Sometimes intense. But if you want a healthy relationship you need to learn to attack the problem without attacking your spouse. Frame it as your feelings, not your spouse’s failings. Fix the issue. Alright, back to your movie.
- Never call your spouse any names other than endearing ones. Never use a derogatory name. Not even joking. Once you do it lodges deep inside. Instead, focus on calling your spouse all the loving names you can. By that, you plant positive seeds deep inside. And encourage them.
- No ultimatums. Unless you want to live by it. And are willing to let your relationship die by it. Because you might be surprised when your spouse takes you upon it. Ultimatums create wars. Not exactly what you want in a marriage. Express your dislikes. Ask for changes. But leave the solution open-ended. Then makeup.
- No silent treatment. Sure, in the heat of the moment it may be wise to just shut up. Believe me, I’ve learned this one the hard way. Sometimes it’s best to take a break and let things cool down. But the only way to build your relationship is to keep talking. So you can work through the differences. And get on to a lot more fun things. You know.
- No lying about anything. Including the small innocent stuff. Who dinged the door of the car? Who lost the keys? Who left the milk out to spoil? Not that any of those have ever happened to us. See if someone lies about something small it creates distrust. And frankly, relationships are built on trust. And trust leads to trusting lots of other things.
- Never break your promise. Promise what you will do and do what you promise. No matter how seemingly insignificant. And if you fail to admit it, no lame excuses and apologize. Then move on and do better next time. Frankly, your spouse will more heartily accept your apology than your excuse. And that leads to the promise of better things.
When you are in love, all your stress responses are different. They adjust to the needs and wants of your loved one. But if you stay in a toxic relationship because you love that person, it will start taking a toll on you.
Here are some signs you should be on a lookout for:
- If your relationship makes you feel bad about yourself or depressed, think about whether or not it is worth it. If you have partners who treat you poorly, you don’t have a healthy relationship!
- If you feel like you are a doormat, you don’t have a healthy relationship! If you have partners who make you feel like you can’t trust them, you don’t have a healthy relationship! If your relationships become abusive, you don’t have a healthy relationship!
- A toxic relationship is destructive to you and your mind. It can make you feel drained and unhappy each time you remember the events; you will find yourself avoiding talking about or thinking about this person. You are being used or persuaded to do things that are not good for you, which are often damaging to your self-esteem.
- In a toxic relationship, your world will start crumbling. You will feel bad about yourself and your life. Instead of feeling happy and optimistic, you begin to question yourself and assume that you are the problem in the relationship.
- A healthy and happy relationship should feel fulfilling to both partners and provide a sense of security and comfort. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner, then you’re likely in an unhealthy relationship. Nervousness and fear is not a healthy or productive way to live.
Additionally, the following signs can also mean that you are in a toxic relationship:
- If your significant other tends to blame you for everything or treats you like a child, it’s probably an unhealthy relationship.
- You often feel disrespected just by the things that your partner says and does
- Your partner has to be the center of attention at all times, and you’re always to blame if they think they are not.
- They are always looking for a fight with you.
- This person is constantly on edge and over-reacts to almost anything you say or do.
- They often fly off the handle and act irrationally.
- They yell and/or becomes physically abusive toward you.
- They blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life.
- They often manipulate you into feeling guilty for almost nothing. They threaten to hurt you or leave you if you don’t do what they want.
- They want to limit your freedom.
- They constantly criticize your appearance and ridicule your likes and hobbies.
- They constantly put you down, make fun of you, and tries to bring you down to their level.
- They are constantly jealous of you and want to destroy your relationship with other people.
All in all, a healthy relationship should be a “can’t-live-without” kind of thing. It should be something you can count on. Something that brings out the best in you, and provides you with a sense of security. In contrast, a toxic relationship will have you constantly worried and on edge. You’ll never feel safe or secure, and you’ll always be wondering what horrible thing your partner is going to do next. A toxic relationship will drain your energy, and keep you from enjoying your life. It will pull you so far down that you’ll wonder if you’ll ever be able to get out of the hole you’re in.
Finally, a toxic relationship will suck the happiness out of you, no matter how much money you have, how pretty you are, or how much sex you are getting. If this is the case with your partner, then it’s time to find a new relationship or exit the bad relationship completely. Good riddance.