Confidence is an important attribute of life. It’s a state of mind which makes you believe in yourself. Everyone will tell you that with confidence you can achieve success but not many will tell you how to build your confidence.
It’s not something that can be learned and implemented within a day. It’s something that needs to be learned, practiced, and mastered just like any other skill. Building confidence isn’t a cakewalk. It’s a very tough regime that should be followed every day.
These are the things that I did to gain confidence.
- Stress Management: It’s a mandatory aspect to build confidence. To achieve this do meditation, exercises and try to always be surrounded by positive people, who will help you or support you towards betterment. Discard negative people. Negative people are like glue sticks, who keep on buzzing around to pull you down.
- Attitude: Be always positive and self-motivated. Always be optimistic and allow ideologies to experiment with your mind. Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Do not give any hoot to what others say or do. It’s one of the least concerned subjects. Even if you fail, accept the failure, learn from it and rise to the epitome.
- Take a stand for yourself: For the first time, it’s tough. But you will get used to it. Never let anyone degrade you. By the way, criticism is a different thing. It helps you to grow. This can be articulated from the politics of India. If there is no opposition then how would a government do better?
- Read books, newspapers: By doing so, you will not only come across a number of life stories but you will also learn from them. This will help you to stay motivated.
- Treating everything as lessons. Be it failures or success. Whatever the results of your actions, pat it on yourself for the efforts which you had taken. If you win, interpret how you got there. Enjoy success and learn from it. If you fail, you have a lot of things to learn. Interpret failures too and move on to the next action. Period.
- Persistence breeds confidence. There is a fad among people about not giving things up. Work hard and persevere to whatever extent. I have tried things hard even when I failed many times. Sometimes, it doesn’t work out or turn to your extent. It’s okay to give up. Don’t regret giving things up. Sometimes those are not your cup of tea. Pack your shit and move on.
- Commit to something and follow-through: Nothing kills your self-worth and confidence more than being unable to complete tasks and stick to goals. Telling yourself “I can’t lose weight” is nothing more than a lack of confidence in your ability to stick to a plan and follow through. The best thing you can do for yourself is to start setting small goals and get in the habit of completing them. Don’t decide to lose 100lbs because for a lot of people that is an overwhelming long-term objective with a low success rate and will sap your confidence if you fail at it. Challenge yourself to a small goal like giving up drinking soda, pop, and other sugary beverages. Once that has gone from hard to just part of habit make another small yet positive change (going to the gym 2x per week). Over the long term as you stack small accomplishments they lead to big changes.
- Develop Talents/Skills that provide value: One of the biggest reasons people lack confidence is that they don’t feel like they have anything to offer others. “Why would the attractive girl/guy go for a person like me?” The key is to pinpoint things that you are interested in and cultivate talents, skills, and experiences that you are then able to share with others. Liking music is an interest, but playing music is a talent, and traveling around to see amazing concerts and find new bands is an experience. An interest is nice, but other people will be much more drawn to a person with talents or experiences that represent that interest vs the interest itself. This makes it much easier for you to share part of yourself and who you are engaging with.
- Speak to yourself: While it is very good to listen to the opinion of others and their views on you. the best advice you should ever listen to is yourself. Be your own biggest critique and your biggest fan as well. Loudly speak to yourself and motivate yourself daily. You can have a personal mantra or slogan that will lift you whenever you feel yourself slipping.
- Be sure: When you are unsure of a decision, you are most likely going to feel less confident about following through with it. this is why it is recommended that you try as much as possible to show that the decision you are making is the right one always. Preferably build a set of working principles for yourself and make sure every one of your actions and decisions align with it. once a decision aligns with it simply follow through and never look back.
Finally, no matter what you do, there will always be people who don’t like you. So, focus on what you want to achieve and don’t worry about what other people think of you.