How To Love Unconditionally

If you don’t love yourself unconditionally, there is no way you can love anyone else unconditionally. We humans have it all backward hence my new book, “It’s All Bullshit! The Source of Depression and Healing from The Inside Out!” We give to others expecting them to love us back. We give and give and give and become resentful that we aren’t loved and appreciated for all we do for others sacrificing, giving of our time, talents, and even money. Until we love and accept ourselves as we are no one else will either. 

Energy moves in a circle. What we give we get. Unfortunately giving from an empty place is a manipulation for love. We don’t recognize what we are doing until we move into unconditional love and acceptance of all that we are. 

When we don’t love and accept ourselves we live in fear of abandonment: “No one loves me.” “Everyone leaves or cheats on me.” We are in victimhood. 

Here are few things which need to be considered. 

  1. Giving Too Much 
an illustration

We may give selflessly of ourselves to others but end up resentful that our efforts weren’t appreciated. 

  1. No Boundaries 
two girls fighting with eacth other

When we don’t love and respect ourselves we have few boundaries. We get angry when people cross the boundaries we do have, that we are afraid to enforce. 

We’re afraid to make unpopular decisions or statements for fear that we won’t be loved. We might even give too much to our children allowing them to manipulate us too. 

  1. Respect 
a family laughing

Until we recognize that we must respect ourselves we won’t be respected by others. We usually don’t notice our lack of personal respect until someone points it out to us. We are blind to those things we haven’t worked on. 

  1. Awareness 
fahionable man sitting with a book and thinking

Our awareness needs to change so that we begin to notice that the world is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, the words we say in our minds, and the self-abuse we inflict. 

  1. Afraid To Be Alone 
woman wearing mask

Until we get to know ourselves, we spend endless hours getting to know our dates, boyfriends, girlfriends, and lovers but don’t know who we are. We are afraid to be alone with ourselves because we don’t enjoy our own company. 

Being alone with ourselves is imperative for inner reflection and understanding of our issues and programming that needs to change. The underlying program of not being enough, not being deserving, and not being important dictates who we attract and the treatment we receive. 

  1. Reprogramming The Mind 

Our patterns, programming, and filters are created in early childhood. We have to spend the rest of our lives unwinding those programs so that we begin to lovingly accept ourselves and know we are worthy, deserving, and lovable. 

  1. Relationships Teach Us About Ourselves 
a couple shown sad from eact other

We don’t understand until we awaken that the broken relationships were just lessons on the road of life to teach us about our issues. Unfortunately, until we realize what a relationship’s purpose is in our lives we feel hurt, abused, and mistreated. We blame our parents, children, lovers, and husbands/wives for what they did to us, still feeling like victims rather than creators in our lives. 

  1. We Have The Power To Heal 
a woman touching her upper chest

We are meant to love ourselves unconditionally. When we do all our physical issues fall away. All the sickness we had from our criticism and self-berating disappears if we recognize our misguided selves early enough. If we stay in victimhood we won’t heal and will die of cancer, or other diseases. 

  1. Awakening and Self-Realization 
a woman jumping infront of mountains

In 2019, I had a profound awakening experience where I saw everything. Since that time, I have moved out of the state of suffering and victimhood. 

I have not been able to lie. I love myself completely. I live in a state of grace and ease. My life is not without challenges. However, I move through the challenges with greater ease because I am no longer living in a pity party of victimhood and suffering. I recognize that everything in my life happens for my highest good and the highest good of ALL. 

Who We Are 

We are the giver and the receiver. 

We are the creator and the destroyer. 

We are the manifesto of our thoughts. 

We are here to love, not fight. 

When we are in a state of loving acceptance our lives become easy, reflective, and beautiful. We have joy being out in nature. We forgive everyone and love everybody. We recognize that everyone in our play of life is an actor on our stage playing a role for us to see the reflection of ourselves in everyone we meet. 

Life happens FOR us, rather than TO us. 


Gary is a lifestyle writer with a passion for healthy living, fitness, and self-improvement. His writing is dedicated to helping readers achieve their best selves through practical tips and advice.