Life, and romantic relationships, become boring and lose the spark when we choose to let them become boring and lose the spark. Trouble is, sometimes we make that choice without even realizing that we are choosing at all.
You can keep your relationship exciting and long-lasting. For example, do sex. There is so much variety and possibility in sex that if you lived to be a thousand years old and you did something different in bed every single day for that entire thousand years, never repeating the same thing twice, you still would not be able to do it all. That’s no exaggeration.
So, there’s absolutely no reason that anyone’s sex life should ever be boring to keep your relationship more exciting. Yet lots of folks have boring sex lives. How does that happen?
It happens when people turn their backs on the vast smorgasbord of human sexuality and do only one or two things. The excitement in a relationship is quite important and it starts with communication.
There are a lot of reasons why people are scared of suggesting anything they don’t think is “normal,” or they’re afraid of rejection, or they’re frightened of the vulnerability that comes from opening up, or they stop investing because it takes too much energy but there are a thousand and one reasons folks choose to have boring sex lives.
There are some steps you can take to keep a mature relationship fresh, exciting, and long-lasting.
- Keep the Element of Surprise Alive
Surprise your partner from time to time in a variety of ways. Arrive home with a small gift, cook your partner’s favorite meal or book a surprise weekend getaway. These types of surprises will keep the excitement alive and prevent you from getting stuck in a relationship rut.
- Send Romantic Text Messages
When you’re apart, send romantic text messages to one another. This can build anticipation for when you’ll see each other again. Use texting to send short messages of love, admiration, and encouragement. Don’t be afraid to send some sexy text messages to spice things up. It is a simple and easy way to keep the romance in your relationship.
- Schedule Regular Date Nights
Most couples go on dates regularly during the initial phase of their relationship. However, going out to dinner often gets traded in for sitting on the couch. As a result, the relationship can become a little dull. Schedule regular date nights so you can spend quality time together as a couple.
- Verbalize Your Loving Feelings
Don’t forget to use your words to express your feelings. Sometimes people forget all those mushy things they used to say to one another once the relationship matures. Say, “I love you,” often, and don’t shy away from words that truly express how you feel.
- Try Something New Together
Participating in a new activity together can keep the relationship exciting. Take a Chinese cooking class, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or take golf lessons together. A willingness to learn something new can help you grow together as a couple.
- Spend Time with Other Couples
Spending time with couples who have healthy relationships can be good for you. Look for couples who share your values and who have strong relationships. It can help reinforce the importance of commitment and help remind you to keep the relationship exciting.
- Establish Goals Together
Create some goals that you can work on together as a couple. It may include a financial goal, such as saving a certain amount of money to go on a vacation. Or, it could include a fitness goal, such as running a half marathon together. Working toward your goals can help you feel like a team and gives you new things to talk about and do together.
- Discuss Your Hopes and Dreams
It’s likely that when you were dating, you talked about your hopes and dreams. However, over time, those sorts of conversations can fall by the wayside. Set time aside to continue to discuss your dreams for the future and support one another in making those dreams a reality.
- Ask Meaningful Questions
The types of questions people ask one another often change over time. Questions such as, “What was your life like when you were growing up?” often get replaced with questions like, “What do you want for dinner?” Ask meaningful questions about your partner’s past, thoughts on current events, and feelings about a variety of topics. Try to get past superficial day-to-day conversations and dive deeper.
- Greet One Another with Excitement
The way you greet one another after being apart can set the tone for the rest of the day. Changing small habits, such as the way you greet your partner when they get home, can be key to a lasting relationship. Greet your partner at the door with a hug and a kiss and express your joy at being together again. This can start things off on the right foot and set you on the path to reconnect after being apart.
Psychology studies show that, in the long term, the most important thing in your life is your relationships.
What you are going through is natural and normal. People like excitement and variety.
If you want excitement, then you have to do exciting things together. Maybe you learn a new sport together. Or you go on a trip to someplace new. Or you make a long-term goal that you work towards. Nobody can make your life worth living. That is up to the two of you to do that. After all, you don’t want to be like those couples you see that look like the living dead, just existing together.